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David teams up with Lesley Visser

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Demo Critique

Bob, here are my thoughts on your 15 minute audio sample.

You need to sound more friendly (warmer) at the beginning. Remember, you’re bringing people into your home.

I would still like to hear something more creative (stronger hook) in the first minute. Telling me the bowl games don’t matter is not an attention grabber. We know that. Give me a quick, thought provoking idea as to what we can do to make these non-important games more meaningful.

Going into the first break, you said ”We will preview what we saw on Saturday.” That would not prevent me from flipping over to your competitor. The  tease must be more gripping.

The rejoiner music was too slow and mellow. Perhaps great for the guys grabbing a late night hit, but for the rest of us, the music you selected  dragged.

You began the segment by talking about having a microphone on the field and offering an adult feed. Very creative. You should have teased this. You  also needed to develop this. You just mentioned the idea and dropped it.

You then talked about coaches being doused with gatorade. Again, you mentioned your thought and dropped it.

You touched on Matt Millen and although the metaphors you brought up were outstanding, you did nothing else with the topic.

So at the 4:50 mark, you talked about college football, Peyton Manning being named the MVP, LT’s groin,  Matt Millen having no business being on the  set at NBC. Way too many topics, not enough topic development.

You then went to your first caller, but I had no idea what he was going to talk about. I presume you didn’t either. You need to set up a topic and get the caller’s reaction to your opinions.

During the call, you made nice comments on teams saying no to bowl games. The U. of Alabama comments were also very good, but you could have provided  more reasons why the Tide wasn’t motivated for the Sugar Bowl.

I hope this helps. I look forward to reviewing your future demos.

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